It’s difficult to break up with someone you don’t love because of pity – it’s a disservice to yourself
- Sympathy is a good feeling that shows empathy and emotional closeness to a person. Sympathy can inspire good deeds and help people.
- Grief, sorrow – these are disappointment and unpleasant emotions caused by the actions of another person or their inability to do something.
Let’s talk about the second point. This is what makes it difficult to break up with someone when there are no feelings and no objective reasons to continue the relationship. The feeling of pity prevents taking the step towards separation. It’s scary to hurt and leave the person alone. Thoughts about the partner’s dependency or possible bad actions are present when there is a desire to break up.
If there is a feeling of pity present, but no other positive emotions, it is a sign of codependent relationships. This is a situation in which pleasant emotions are rarely present. Every day brings anxiety, worry, and possible conflicts due to dissatisfaction with each other. As a result, a person who feels regret towards their partner begins to resent themselves for the dependency that has developed. And if such relationships persist in this state for a long time, accusations will inevitably arise that much valuable time has been lost due to the person towards whom feelings of pity were present.
Divorce cannot be painless. The first thing to understand is that after a short-term pain there will be significant improvement, feeling of freedom and opportunities. When separating, the former partner will be offended. There may be unpleasant words, accusations, and attempts to manipulate. The main thing is not to behave the same way.
There is a way to reduce the pain and pity of a breakup – do it gradually, if possible. That means gradually reducing the time spent together. Reduce the amount of communication and any other contact. Stop fueling the relationship, don’t be romantic, stop giving compliments, and reduce the amount of everything that could be normal in a relationship. When the actual breakup happens, there will be much less pain and pity. There will be a short period of discomfort. It is better not to drag out the breakup and avoid prolonged conversations. There were probably enough talks and chances before this.
Can you stay friends in this case? It’s an individual question. Each case needs to be examined separately. You can analyze yourself whether it will lead to a closed circle where relationships can return and the same situation will arise again. Superficially speaking, if there is a desire to break up, friendship cannot exist between such people. Friendship itself is a component of love.
