Why is there a desire to have children?
Most often among non-constructive motives to have children are the following:
- continuation of parental initiatives (transfer to the child of acquired, inheritance of business property, inheritance of family, etc.);
- claim that a family without children is incomplete;
- gain meaning of life;
- desire to experience positive emotions;
- have a sense of possession;
- compensate for the failure of anything by the birth of a child;
- realisation of one’s ambitions.
At first glance, these are innocent desires. But this is quality of the future person.
These are not all non-constructive motives. There are some that also have negative consequences.
The desire to conceive a child
Proof of mother’s ability as a woman. That is to give birth, to prove their femininity to someone and return to normal life. The child in this case is often transmitted to grandmothers or nannies and grows without proper education.
Material benefit
There are a lot of scenarios. Alimony, payments from the state, custody of a man by giving birth to a child for the sake of material support.
Give birth to children because it is so accepted
Forcing a society that without a child the family is undervalued. Everyone gives birth, so we should. The birth of a child is an integral part of marriage. But these statements are illogical, go against human will and common sense.
Old-age support
I mean, have a personal servant) do you understand that??
Get rid of loneliness
As a child demands constant attention, this can rob of all loneliness. But it doesn’t work like that… Is not a logical motive. To get rid of the feeling of loneliness, you need to work in a completely different direction. And the child will not deprive this feeling, but rather complicate the situation.
Pressure of relatives
Very often people give birth under pressure from relatives… That is, not guiding by their desires, logic and capabilities. The consequences, of course, negative.
The desire of the child of another gender
When there was a child, but wanted another gender. This is generally the top reason) And it’s good if children born on this logic have a normal upbringing. But unfortunately it is not so often, because the motive itself is already against all logic.
In general, the essence of all non-constructive desires to have a child is the use of the child for the sake of his own well-being. This approach adversely affects the development of the child and his future.
A normal desire to give birth, what about it?
Those people who have a true desire to give birth to a child in order to grow a quality person, free and intelligent, will take care of their physical health and psychological, because it is critical for the normal birth of a child. For such people, it is first of all important to understand whether they are ready for birth financially, whether there is enough patience, whether they have learned quality education, and many other factors will be taken into account. And the main motive is to give care and love without the need to get something in return.
Remember that you do not need to be afraid of the lack of desire to give birth. We must accept this reluctance. This suggests that they are not devoid of logic, which most likely suggests the right decision.
But even when everything has happened and this was preceded by non-constructive decisions, it is never too late to rethink your attitude towards the child and change the approach to education.
